Street Lounge Guise for the Hip Ninja Millenia

Black ninja market capitalism is on the rise in the United States. Every where I look, I see more Black ninja exploitation on clothing, t-shirts, apparel and ninja poser websites. No one knows how to market to a ninja! Every one knows that ninjas like cotton/poly blend shirts to relax in after a grueling night of throat slitting, pillaging and marauding of corrupt business men and baby kittens while they sleep.

The oversight of this minor detail in ninja garment manufacturing should make any gross retailer shake in their boots because nothing pisses a Ninja off more than putting a scratchy, 100% cotton t-shirt on their brawny, tailored physique composed of sharpened steel and sex.

Lets discuss what stealthy, smart, black ninjas should and should NOT buy in an attempt to ease into a zen state of relaxation when it's time to hang up that black jumpsuit garb for the day:

What to NOT purchase:

1) 100% cotton shirts: All ninjas know this due to our inability tolerate itchy fabric that makes us flip out and murder stadiums of people at will. If you don't, you're just a ninja poser and you've either, A) been already decapitated because of your poser-ness lifestyle, or B) you should have committed hara kiri a long time ago.

2) Flamboyant colors: If you're a ninja caught wearing pink and haven't slit your own throat already, chances are 1) You're not a ninja, 2) Or you're already dead and in Ninja HELL.

3) Anything that has cute words or pictures on it: This is ninja disgrace and you will be forced to eat broken shards of urine-soaked glass if caught. Ninja's don't parade around wearing baby kittens slipping over a rainbow! Ninjas eat baby fetuses for breakfast with a side order of kittens and shit their remains while flying over your rainbow.

What TO purchase:

1) The "Office" Ninja: In the event you're a cube ninja by day, don't let your co-workers think you're any less dangerous during the day than you are at night. A hidden ninja star in their office chair seat should straight any non-believers out.

2) The "Represent the Ninjas Fo Shizzle" Shirt: If there's anything to ever wear, it's to show your loyalness to the ninja faction. Ninja's before hoes. Have you ever heard a ninja rap? No, because your ears were sliced off and used on a necklace.

So there you have it. Ninjas gospel will never stray you from what is good, right and salutary in the ninja ways. If you aren't pooping ninja, you should be peeing it. And if you aren't peeing it, you should be figuring out why.