Ninja Myth-conceptions

Any Ninja can tell you that it just ain't easy being a black, stealthy, throat-slitting, flying machine. Annual family and social functions open up a myriad of ninja mockery and tomfoolery that never seem to get old to the average human being. However, to ninjas, it makes their blood boil and want to stab naginata's in every one of your organs... for fun.

Now, today, in the age of technology and the internet, Ninja's are finding it harder and harder to put these "myth spreaders" in their place: the GRAVE!

A good example of this terminological inexactitude of ninja-ness would be this horrific on-line terror of a website: Common Misconceptions of Ninjas

If I may cover some of the falsehoods associated with this digital fabrication:

• Common Myth #1: "Ninjas" wore black night uniforms and skulked around in the dark: Complete bullshit to the highest ninja faction. All "real" ninjas wear black, duh.
  
  
• Common Misconception #2: "Ninja" were dishonorable, and used underhanded techniques that samurai would never use, and "Ninja" were a separate, lower class from samurai: This is such a lie that a Ninja kindergartener would laugh at you (then rape and pillage your family, of course). Ninja rule #89 quickly trumps this washery: Ninja's eat samurai's for breakfast and shit their swords back on their carcass.
  
  
• Common Myth #3: "Ninja" used straight swords, different from samurai swords.: L-I-E! What about the swords that go STRAIGHT THROUGH YOUR BEATING HEART? Oh ya, you must have forgot that one, you false ninja prophetier.
  
  
• Common Myth #4: There are "Modern" "Ninja": Hello? What do you call me? Someone needs to be paid a visit in the dark...
  
  

So hopefully next time you're at Uncle Ned and Gertrude's house for Christmas and decide to shout a seemingly harmless youltide "Ninja" jeer while your mysterious Ninja cousin is sipping his razorblade eggnog, you think twice and thank your lucky stars your neck wasn't slit.